When I was little, my dad would take the family out on many road trips. During these trips, I’d often freak out when I saw the gas light come on. “아빠, the gas light is on! We gotta pull over to a gas station soon,” I’d say. To this he’d reply, “Don’t worry about it. The car can go a bit more.” Five minutes later, I’d freak out even more and tell him, “아빠, the gas light is on! We need to find a gas station now!” My dad would give me the same response as before as my anxiety continued to grow. Though this has happened many times, to the point of deeply annoying my dad, there was never a time when our car stalled in the middle of the road due to lack of fuel.
What was the problem? Was it the fact that I was too young to know that cars can go many more miles after the light came on? In a sense, yes…. but if you think about it, the deeper problem was the fact that I didn’t trust my dad enough to know that the car can indeed continue moving despite the gas light being on when he said that it would. If I had trusted him wholeheartedly, I would’ve kept my mouth shut and waited patiently until my dad was ready to stop by a gas station.
Why am I mentioning this? This lack of faith I used to have in my own dad really exemplified my current level of faith in our heavenly Father. God demands complete trust and faith from us. Yet, here I am being anxious, nervous, stressed, and worried about what lies ahead of me. How silly of me.
I’m not sure where everyone stands in terms of their faith in God, but I can surely say that when it comes to my level of faith, it’s definitely not where it should be. How do I know this? Because here I am worrying about internships, summer plans, financial aid, lack of money in my checking account, grades, group projects, my family, my friends, and the list goes on and on.
Last summer, I really wanted an internship with Harrah’s Atlantic City. It was the perfect internship for me. Housing, meals, and wages were provided. Plus, it was the industry that I wanted to work in. It was perfect, at least in my eyes. To my surprise, I ended up not getting the position. I was upset. I was damn upset. I was upset at God for not giving me this opportunity. What I didn’t realize back then was that He had something better in store for me.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." -Romans 8:28
In ALL things, God works for the good of those who love him. And by “all”, even rejections from your dream internship. Though I failed to realize it back then, I realized it after the summer. God has provided me the opportunity to work with the corporate office of Four Seasons Hotels & Resorts (one of the most well-known luxury hotel brand) AND even gave me the opportunity to serve Him and His people in a little village called Chisec in the jungles of Guatemala. Not only did I get a great experience from working with Four Seasons, but God really poured out his blessings through the mission trip. (I can probably write another really long post about my experiences at Guatemala, but to keep this post relatively short, I’ll skip that for now.) A corporate internship AND a blessing mission trip? Holy crap, that’s way better than spending my summer in Atlantic City doing busy work that provided little, if any, value to His kingdom.
Ever since last summer, I really began to evaluate myself on where I stand in faith with God. I wanted to give Him my 100% trust and 100% faith. But it’s just so hard! If I had trouble trusting my own dad with a simple matter of our car’s gas tank, imagine how difficult it is to trust in God who I can’t even see, touch, smell, or hear.
But as I was doing my readings… BAM! Hebrews chapter 11.
Verse 1: “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”
And the chapter continues to explain the stories of many, many men in the Bible who, by faith, has achieved the unachievable despite the world being against them. I’d quote them here but it’s too long to quote the entire chapter. The chapter mentions Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Moses, and many more. The chapter concludes with verses 39 and 40: “These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.” If you are not familiar with the chapter, I really recommend that you go take the time to read it!
To sum it up: Wow. Right in the face.
To those who actually read everything I wrote up until this point, let us really continue to strive for greater faith and greater trust in Him (including myself, of course). Why? Because He demands it from us. Let us always remind ourselves that God demands nothing less than ONE HUNDRED PERCENT of our faith and trust. I have no idea what lies ahead of me and I’m sure you have no clue either. I just know that whatever it may be, it will be good. It will be good because God has planned it so.
"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him" -Hebrews 11:6
EDIT: I don’t normally write posts like this, but after my first prayer meeting with the junior boys, I realized many of us are struggling through similar things in our walk of faith. After talking with Eugene, I had a sudden urge to share this with everyone… so here it is. lol